It’s amazing that from the moment a child is born their brain is firing neurons and making connections that will affect that individual for the rest of their life and we as parents have a great deal of influence over that.
There are three parts to the brain, the reptilian brain which is responsible for the basic needs of survival like hunger, digestion and the fight or flight reflex. The mammalian brain (or limbic system) which is responsible for our emotions, our fear, rage, happiness and separation distress and the rational brain which is responsible for managing the emotions as well as problem solving and creativity.
The reptilian and mammalian brains are fully functional at birth, which is why a baby can get upset so quickly. Imagine her world for an instant. How is she to know that the noisy vacuum is not a predator that will come and eat her?
The reptilian brain recognises a potential threat and the emotional mammalian brain reacts with fear. Your child’s rational brain is not functional at birth and requires a number of years to create the neural pathways to enable the child to manage the emotions of the lower brain. It doesn’t yet know that the vacuum is not going to eat her up. She needs to experience it hundreds if not thousands of times for the neural pathway formed in her brain to automatically kick in each time.
In the meantime, it is up to you as her parent or caregiver to help her manage her emotions and calm down. It is vital that you have the mental and emotional space in your mind to really hear her and take her seriously. The fact you, as a parent, think it is an irrational fear is completely irrelevant. It is not about you!
If you are consistent when soothing your child’s distress, whatever its cause, and take anguished crying seriously you can help her establish some highly effective stress response systems in her brain. These systems will enable her to be able to deal well with all kinds of stress later in life.
Now that is pretty cool!
The Parent Academy 